Life on the Homeworld
by Sal002
Summary: Set post-Reaper War, the galaxy is still rebuilding as Shepard and Tali build their own lives on Rannoch.
1. A Meeting of Admirals

**_Author's Notes_**

_This is a direct continuation of "A Morning on the Homeworld", my Shepard/Tali smut-fic. If you don't want to go read it, I'll fill you in on some important details I introduced there.  
_

_This is set post-Reaper War. I've done away with the circumstances of the ME3 ending. Assume everything to do with the star-child never happened. The Reapers are gone, the Citadel and Relays weren't destroyed, and there was no synthetic genocide. Shepard is on Rannoch acting as the official liason between the Systems Alliance and the Quarian Government.  
_

_Please review! Let me know if you have any suggestions or situations you want to see the characters in._

* * *

Tali stood in a fluffy, thigh-length purple robe, a gift from Shepard, finishing up with his face. She wiped off the remaining shaving cream with a towel and prompted him to examine his face in the mirror. "Look at that, not one nick." Tali leaned close to him to rub her cheek against his now smooth cheek. He was still twirling a lock of her hair as he had been doing while she returned him to his familiar appearance.

He gave her a peck on the cheek and walked over to a drawer to find some sweatpants. "How about we cook each other some breakfast? EDI found me some instructional guides on traditional quarian cuisine that uses some of the fresh Rannoch-grown crops."

"I look forward to tasting some of your dextro cooking. Keelah, the most I've ever done is hydrate some nutrient paste."

"Well I could throw it in a blender when I'm done, but I thought you might like some solid food."

"No, thank you, I'm perfectly fine with food that I can chew. And taste. Bosh'tet"

"You're assuming I can make something that tastes good."

Tali rolled her eyes at him. "Just go get started. I'm hungry and Shala'Raan will be here soon to discuss the details of the bonding ceremony." She couldn't help but grin at the thought of their official bonding. She lost herself in thought for a few seconds, imagining herself standing in view of the ocean beside Shepard. _A bonding ceremony on the flotilla would have just been a quick gathering of the crew and some time together in a clean room for the couple. But I get to have one on the homeworld. A world my bondmate gave to me._

Tali was brought back to reality by a tight embrace from Shepard. She ran a three-fingered hand through his hair and found his lips for a warm kiss. When they finally parted, he cupped her cheek in his hand, ran a finger over the lines that adorned her face, and let out a chuckle. "I love you, too, Tali. I'm looking forward to the ceremony as well." He was able to read her like a datapad. "Here, you go take a nice, long shower. I'll go get breakfast started. Maybe I can test my culinary skills out on Shala before you try it."

Tali put on a devilish grin. "John, please don't poison my auntie." Shepard turned and let out a sigh, waving her off with a hand.

* * *

Shepard was combing through some different turian spices, trying to approximate the flavors described in his cooking guides. He could only hope that the flavors he received when taste-testing would be similar to what a quarian would experience. The rest of his vegetable stew was simmering on the stovetop. The guide described it as a generally well-liked dish among quarians that largely made use of an orange, root vegetable and a fleshy, green fruit. He found the aroma emanating from the pot to be strangely enticing.

He had just removed the pot to let the stew cool a bit when the house VI announced two people approaching. They expected Shala'Raan to arrive somewhat early, but Shepard did not anticipate that she would bring additional guests. "VI, welcome our guests inside," he instructed, remaining in the kitchen to tend to his project. The voice of the quarian conversing with Shala was very familiar to him. He turned to meet Shala'Raan and Zaal'Koris walking into his kitchen.

Shepard greeted Tali's dear aunt with a polite embrace. "Good morning, Shala." He was initially unnerved when the usually reserved quarian began to interact with him like she did with Tali, but he quickly grew to enjoy having a second mother. "And a good morning to you, John." Like most quarians, she and Koris were dressed in the form-fitting remnants of their old environment suits. The suits, now lacking the life preserving helmets and visors, had indeed remained part of quarian society. Some quarians were still reluctant to show their faces, but most reveled in the freedom of open air.

Shepard turned to extend a hand to the other admiral present in his home. "And Admiral Koris. To what do we owe the pleasure? " Shala slipped around Shepard to examine the results of his culinary efforts.

Koris walked over to accept Shepard's greeting. "Hello, Ambassador. I had hoped to meet with your friend Vakarian. I was led to believe that he would be here today."

Shepard winced, "Ah. We aren't expecting Garrus here until later today. Any particular reason you need to talk to him?"

Koris stood with his arms crossed behind his back. "As admiral of the Civilian Fleet, I am responsible for shifting our agricultural production from the liveships to the planet. I'm looking for some contacts within the Turian Hierachy's domestic affairs to discuss trade agreements for food production tech."

"I'm sure Garrus will be able to work something out through the Primarch." Shepard turned to see Raan bent over the datapad, going through his cooking guide. "Shala, Admiral, please help yourselves. I made some," Shepard paused for a second to recall the proper pronunciation, "_ruush't_."

Raan nodded at him, "Very good. I see your Khelish is improving. And, by the smell of it, I'd say you also have a talent with quarian cuisine." She took a small bowl from the countertop to serve herself a small portion. "I had hoped to find something to eat. I was forced to leave earlier than expected due to Koris's insistence that he speak with your turian friend as soon as possible."

"The sooner the better, Admiral Raan. We have quite a bit of work to accomplish to complete the transition of production and infrastructure to the planet, even with Geth assistance." Shepard pushed a bowl in Koris's directon. "Oh, thank you for the hospitality, Ambassador."

Shepard looked up to see Tali enter the room wearing her enviro-suit remnant. He missed seeing her in her robe or some of the clothes Kasumi had gifted her when Tali was able to leave her suit. _I'm just glad I can always see her beautiful face and flowing hair._ "Admiral Koris?" she inquired, surprised to see the formerly distant admiral eating breakfast in her kitchen. "Is there a problem?"

"Just here for some quick business, Admiral Zorah." Koris always made a point of addressing Tali by her proper rank, unlike Han'Gerrel or Daro'Xen. After Tali was appointed to the Admiralty Board, Koris found an unlikely ally in Rael'Zorah's daughter. They were the two that tried to prevent the madness that nearly led to the destruction of the Migrant Fleet. Gerrel and Xen still treated her like an adolescent. "I know you have some very important personal matters to attend to. Before I go, I'll take this chance to offer my congratulations to you and the Ambassador here. May your bonding see you safely together to happiness through the open stars."

Tali beamed at Koris's blessing. _I suppose our time as nomads will be ingrained in our culture for generations to come. _ "Thank you, Admiral. That means a lot to me."

"I know you've probably been told this many times since the war ended, but you two deserve some peace and rest. More than most of the galaxy realizes." Koris trailed off at the end of his statement, leading to raised eyebrows from Shepard and stern look from Raan. "Well I think I've intruded into your home enough for one morning. Thank you for the food, Ambassador." Shepard gave him a nod. Koris quickly turned, avoiding eye contact with Raan, and exited the house.

"Well, Tali, you can add another reason why John is such a catch. Your bondmate is quite the cook," Raan said, smiling at Shepard. She filled a bowl with the stew and served it to Tali.

"Well, that's a relief," Tali teased, recalling her earlier request of him. "Hopefully, my levo-cooking can keep him satisfied."

"You'll never have to worry about keeping me satisfied." Tali blushed at his comment. "I'm easy to cook for. Just know that I'm a carnivore," he added, hoping to ease her embarrassment at the overt innuendo in front of Raan.

Raan brought the topic back to their bonding ceremony. "John, how much has Tali told you about quarian bonding rituals?"

"She's said that bondings, like nearly everything on the flotilla, are basically stripped down to the bare necessities."

"Yes, this was true, but for your ceremony we'd like to return to some pre-exile customs."

Tali spoke up at this in a mixture of surprise and worry. "We? Who exactly is 'We?'"

"The Conclave has taken an interest in your ceremony. They want it to be publicized to help cement our relations with the Systems Alliance. They also hope that it will be a demonstration to the greater galactic community that the quarian people are no longer nomads. That we deserve to be part of the Council's considerations and activities again."

Shepard made no attempt to mask the agitation in his voice. _That explains Koris. _"You mean they want to use Tali as a political tool again." He thought back to Tali's trial and his first interactions with the Admiralty Board. He could only imagine what it would be like to have to stand against the entire Conclave. "I have vivid memories of what happened the last time."

"And this time they're dragging John into it." Tali met his eyes from across the room. _Keelah,they already tried to use my reputation. They will not use my love._ She turned to glare at her aunt. "Our bonding is not a credit chit to be played in a hand of Skyllian Five."

Raan gave Tali a quizzical look, obviously unfamiliar with the idiom Tali had picked up aboard the Normandy. "Tali, please. They don't want to turn your ceremony into a complete fiasco, but they want you to consider what this could do for our people." Raan looked at Shepard, stressing the word 'our' to remind him that she considered him to practically be a quarian.

Tali focused on Shepard again, her possessiveness of her mate driving her ire at her aunt's words. "Shala, I know you're just the messenger," _I hope you're just a messenger,_ "but this is too much. I just want our close friends and family. I want it to be special. I will not stand for-"

Shepard saw the anger welling up inside his lover. He walked over to pull her into a snug embrace from behind, calming her before she worked herself up into a furor; he knew she'd regret lashing out at Shala. "What could the Conclave do if we flat out refused?"

"Well," Raan paused for a few seconds, trying to choose her words carefully so as not to exacerbate Tali's anger, "technically they have veto power over wide-scale ship registries." Shepard thought back to how distraught Tali was at the thought of her father's name being stripped from those registries and tarnished in the eyes of the people. "They could move to prevent your name from appearing with Tali's in official recognition of your bond." Raan caught Tali's eyes flare up in pure rage. "But I doubt they would ever do it. They'd all lose their seats if word got out that they alienated the Champion of the People from integrating into quarian society. Please, just consider this a polite request. Nothing more."

Now driven by curiosity Shepard asked, "How exactly are quarian names decided?"

His answer came from the petite woman in his arms. "When a pair is bonded, they will decide on a new name for themselves, usually a combination of their families' names. This signifies that the pair is creating a new family from their old ones." Tali fidgeted in his arms. "But I've looked up human customs. I'd like to share your name."

Shepard smiled and gave her a kiss, "There's no one else I'd rather share it with, Tali."

"I guess that's it then, Shala. I'd like to be Tali'Shepard vas Rannoch."

"Very well, the registries will show that John Shepard and Tali'Zorah bonded to become John'Shepard and Tali'Shepard vas Rannoch. John, are there any human customs you'd like for me to handle for the ceremony?"

"Humans haven't ever had a unified culture so there aren't really a single 'set' of wedding customs. Different religions had their own traditions, but hardly anyone follows a religion anymore. I just imagined Tali and I would exchange our own vows to each other before our family and friends." Shepard put on his grin that had become so familiar to Tali, "Though I'm sure Garrus would appreciate an open bar."

"Incoming transmission from Admiral Stephen Hackett, Systems Alliance Military," the house VI suddenly announced. Shepard gave a dramatic sigh, "I'm sorry. I'll see what he wants in my office. Please continue, I'll try to make this short."

After Shepard left the room, Raan turned to Tali, "I will prepare your bonding documentation and arrangements." She mumbled to herself, listing the things she'd need to do. "Let's see-ship registries, invitations, food, and since we're no longer population bound we needn't worry with signing child limitat-" Raan's hand shot up to cover her mouth as she looked at Tali. "Oh, child, I'm so sorry I wasn't thinking..."

Tali did her best to hide it, but the thought of the impossibility of children with Shepard always hurt her. She looked down at her hands and began to wring them together. "It's alright, Shala. We've talked about it before. We know."

Raan walked over to give her a comforting embrace. "Biology aside, I can see how much he loves you, Tali." Tali perked up a bit at her aunt's words.

"I know. We talked about adoption. How we would structure our family." Tali laughed, "he said he'd like to raise a quarian daughter. I told him I wouldn't mind a human son." Shepard returned from his call and approached the kitchen, hearing the women's chatter. He stopped short of entering when he heard what they were talking about.

"Whatever you both decide, I know you will make a great mother." Raan took Tali's hands in hers. "I don't know how humans feel about this sort of thing, but you could find a donor, Tali. It's not unheard of."

"He mentioned in-vitro to me as well. I told him I wouldn't be comfortable carrying someone else's child. At least with adoption we'd be on equal footing." Tali began pacing around the kitchen. Shepard backed away when he thought she was going to see him, but he remained within earshot. Raan could tell she was distressed. "There is something I need to get off my chest though, Shala. I love him, but I can't stop feeling this selfish need to have _our_ child. He will always be enough for me, but it is so hard to let go of that want. That _need_."

"That's perfectly natural, Tali. It's not selfish. Just remember that no matter what happens, adoption or donor, it would still be _your_ child. Both of yours. And you still have the rest of your lives to figure these things out."

"Thanks, Shala." She returned for another hug from her auntie with a few tears streaming down her cheeks. "I needed that." Shepard decided he'd eavesdropped long enough and made his entrance back into the kitchen. Tali broke away from Raan and hurriedly wiped her eyes. "So what did Hackett want with you?"

"The Council has contacted him about my Spectre status."

Tali's heart leapt up into her throat. "I thought you told them you were done with all that."

"I did. It appears that they just want me to work in a diplomatic fashion. We are a long way out from Citadel space and I _am _in the best position to act as an emissary for the Conclave and Geth with the Council. I could help with the quarians' status among the Citadel races."

Tali had a hard time arguing with his logic. "And this way we'd appease the Conclave without turning our bonding ceremony into a circus." Raan gave another confused look at the unfamiliar idiom. Tali noticed and explained, "it means causing something to devolve into complete chaos. I can't say that I'm thrilled, but as long as they don't try to pull you back into active duty, I won't object."

"I will go inform the other admirals and the Conclave. Tali, think about what I said. John, thank you for the meal." Raan hugged them both and left.

Shepard walked over to where they kept the levo food and retrieved some eggs and bacon to set them on the counter near Tali. She laughed and kissed him on the cheek, taking his hint to begin cooking his breakfast. "So what did you two talk about while I was gone?"

"Just some girl talk. Nothing important," Tali lied.

* * *

_ruush't _- I pronounce this in my head as ree-yoo-sh-tuh. Tried to make something up that sounded kind of alien, but plausibly Khelish. (However you'd define 'plausibly Khelish')


	2. That Feeling of Loss

Tali opened her eyes to a dimly lit version of her normally bright bedroom. The colors she longed to see upon waking appeared drab as a rare patch of clouds prevented her homeworld's sun from peeking through the windows. A deep breath told her that a very familiar scent was missing from her environment; a very important scent. Her bedside table was missing its beautiful arrangement of Rannoch's wild flowers. The holo-clock indicated that it was a few hours past dawn.

"John," she said with her best pout, "I miss my flowers." She was met with an odd silence; Shepard always woke up before she did and waited in bed for her. "John?" Tali rolled over to look where her lover normally lay. "John?" His side of the bed was empty, the covers still neatly tucked around the mattress. _Where has my handsome human gone? He must be playing a game with me._

She stood up to retrieve a robe to cover up her naked form. A soft, revealing garment that matched her pale, lavender skin. It was her favorite piece of clothing she'd received since being freed from her life-saving prison. A gift given to her by Shepard the day he announced that he had been assigned to a non-active role within the Alliance military: an assignment that meant they could peacefully retire to Rannoch.

As she made her way downstairs, she suddenly became aware of voices emanating from the kitchen. "She hasn't been the same since she received the news," said a serene voice. "She was utterly devastated the first time..."

A huskier voice answered her. "I knew she was hot for him back then, but I didn't think she would have broken down harder than me. Hell, he was still mine at the time. There's no telling what she'll be like after actually having him."

Tali rounded the corner to meet the faces of her old friends. "Liara! Ash! I was wondering if I'd ever get to show off our new home to you." She walked over to give Liara a friendly embrace. "I didn't think we'd ever get the Shadow Broker to take some personal time," she added teasingly. Liara was somewhat stunned at Tali's demeanor, hesitatingly wrapping her arms around the quarian's shoulders.

Ashley moved around to see Tali's face. "Tali what is wrong with you?"

"She's clearly in denial," said a cold voice with a very distinct accent. "It should be no surprise that she's mentally unfit to process this," it continued with disdain. Tali pulled away from Liara to face Miranda. Despite the former Cerberus operative's role in giving Tali a second chance to act on her feelings for Shepard after his abrupt death, Tali had never warmed up to the human woman. Even after Sanctuary, their relationship could be described as cold at best. Miranda was always jealous that the quarian captured Shepard's heart, even after she'd spent two years restoring his life. Her genetically perfect body was rejected in favor of the lowly suit-rat. Miranda never made any effort to hide her contempt from her.

"What is _she_ doing in my kitchen?" Tali responded, her tone dripping with disgust. "And what is she talking about?"

"Are you really going to play this game?" Miranda continued, shifting her weight onto one leg and placing a hand on her hip. "It's time to face reality."

Tali moved to face Liara, refusing to address Miranda. "I expected you both to be here before my bonding ceremony, but not her. And where is John?"

The asari looked somewhat irritated at Tali. "Tali, this isn't funny." She suddenly noticed that Liara was wearing a familiar black dress. She recognized it from Shepard's funeral almost three years ago.

Ashley spoke up again. "Tali, what the hell happened? You had him here. He was safe. How could you let him slip through your fingers?"

Tali looked from Liara to Ashley, panic beginning to set in to her mind. "What is going on? Why are you all here?"

"Don't pretend like you don't know," Miranda said, dead set on provoking Tali's rage.

"Tali, we've been over this. He's gone." Liara was beginning to lose her patience and it was showing in her voice.

"No he's not! He was with me last night. He fell asleep in my arms last night!"

"Shepard has been dead for nearly two weeks now."

Tali stumbled backwards gripping at her chest. She felt like someone had hit her with a hammer. "No," she let out with a gasp. "No! It's _not_ true!" She backed against a wall and slid down, knees against her chest.

"Yes it is, you delusional fool."

"H-how did it happen?"

"Does it matter? It's your fault. You let him jump back into danger. You're the one that couldn't hold on to him."

Tali couldn't even bring her face out from behind her hands to respond to Miranda's taunts. She could only choke out a few words between her sobs. "No...I didn't want...I never...He said it would be-" Tali began to lose focus on the world around her. She could only hear the cruel taunts coming in the form of her friends' voices.

"If he was still mine, _I'd_ have made sure he was protected," Ashley said accusingly. "How can you accept holding on to your life when you couldn't hold on to his?

"She's never been able to do anything for herself. He gave her everything. And what did she have to offer in return? Nothing."

"Her position among her people is due entirely to him. She wouldn't have ever been able to complete her pilgrimmage without him. She's an admiral only because of him."

"She wouldn't even be alive without him. I brought him back to fight the Collectors. She nearly got him killed for her own selfish purposes. Twice."

"I was there when her people tried to kill him just to destroy some Geth ship. He boarded that ship to help her people and they repaid his valor by shooting at him."

She felt nauseated as their onslaught continued. She wanted to shut them up. To just make it stop. To tell them they were wrong. Deep down she could feel the weight of the truth bearing down on her. They were right. How could she not have seen it?

"She can't even offer him a future."

"All she can do is snuff out his flame on this pathetic planet."

How could they say these things so her? She was supposed to be with her bondmate. Still curled up on the floor she managed the faintest whisper, "John?"

"No children. No legacy. The name Shepard will die with her."

Tali's pleas for her bondmate slowly grew louder, "John?" The voices around her no longer found their way into her mind. The world around her seemed to be spinning as she worked over all the jeers she'd been subjected to. How could they all be true? Why could I not refute them? Her head suddenly popped as she screamed for her savior, "SHEPARD!"

She found herself sitting upright, drenched in sweat and panting hard. The faint orange glow of the holo-clock told her that she was in her bedroom. The soft sheets wrapped around her bowed legs told her she was in her bed. And the voice of her bondmate told her that her worst fears were simply a figment of her imagination. Her eyes allowed her to make out the concerned look on Shepard's face in the low light. She felt the soothing calm of his voice wash over her, "Tali, you're ok. It was just a dream."

She threw herself at him, wrapping her arms around his scarred torso and pushing him on his back. She couldn't manage to produce any words, she just squeezed against him as hard as she could. _He's here. He's safe._ It was only now that she realized the alien nature of her nightmare. The inconsistencies and falseness of it all became apparent to her. _Of course my friends could never be so cruel. Liara is one of my closest friends. Ash treats me like one of her sisters. Even Miranda's attitude is one of reluctant respect._ Tali held on to Shepard as he raised them both up and pulled her across his lap. She curled her legs up and pushed her forehead against the side of his neck.

He ran his fingers through her hair to massage her scalp and began gently rocking her. "Tali, it's alright. Just take a minute to right yourself." The thumb of the hand supporting her thigh drew comforting circles along her damp skin.

She suddenly remembered the events of the previous day. The galaxy was attempting to drag her mate back into its dangerous game. Away from the safety of their Rannoch home. Away from her. She realized the nightmare was based on a grain of truth. _John may very well slip through my fingers_. She pulled her head back to look at him, her white, luminescent eyes studying his piercing blue ones. Her lips thrust forward, enveloping his. Her tongue seeking a quickly granted entrance into his sweet mouth. She kissed him until she was forced to give into her body's demands for oxygen. She held his head with both of her lithe, powerful hands, foreheads pressed together as she slowly calmed her breathing. "I...I'm so happy you're here with me. My dream was...horrible."

"What happened?"

Tali dropped her hands to her lap and began to wring them together nervously as she recalled the nightmare. "I dreamed I was here. I woke up alone in the bed and I heard voices coming from downstairs. I found Liara, Ash, and Miranda in the kitchen. They said you had...died...weeks ago. They were so angry, saying that it was my fault. That I had you safe here, but I let you risk yourself for the galaxy again. That I've never been able to protect you. That you're always the one that has to save me. Oh, John, they were so cruel...and I couldn't stop them. Deep down, I just knew they were speaking the truth."

"But they weren't. It was just a dream, Tali. I'm still here," he said nuzzling his nose against her cheek, "under your protection."

"Some of it is true though. You _were_ always the one that had to risk his life for me. Haestrom. The _Alarei_. Keelah, John, you almost dove off that platform in the Collector base to save me. And when you risked your life for my people on that dreadnought...you almost died because my hack was overridden. I _was _worried. I was so scared that I was going to lose you then and there. I-"

Shepard placed a finger over her lips to stop her. "Tali, that is all behind us. We both knew the risks of what we were doing. If anything had happened it wouldn't have been your fault. We did what we had to do. I will never regret risking my life for the people I care about. Especially you."

"I just...it feels different now. Back then we were just trudging along, pushing our way uphill. We didn't know anything else. But now...now we have our life to build here. I don't feel guilty about being selfish anymore. Ever since we sat on that cliff side...I meant what I said. I am _not _giving up you. I don't want to give you back."

Shepard exhaled, deflating against Tali. He realized that her vexations ran much deeper than biological incompatibility. _She's never dared hold anything just for herself. Even for a quarian, she's always been exceptionally selfless. Until me. _"Tali...I," he stumbled to find the words to reassure her, but the they would not come. All he could do was tighten his embrace around her.

Tali remained tense as she rolled off Shepard to curl up on her side, her back facing him. He repositioned himself to lay behind her, his toes rubbing against the soles of her pointed feet and the breaths from his nose brushing past her ear pad. He put one hand around her abdomen and began to gently massage her smooth skin while the other snaked around to put pressure against her chest and feel her naturally faster heart beat. She put a hand over his and squirmed her body against him.

"I know they just want you to shout at people," she said lightening her tone, "but this just brought out all of these worries I had bottled up during the war." She gave out a quiet sigh, "I know I must sound ridiculous."

"You're not ridiculous, _ri vaelah_. You know you mean everything to me. I promise I won't do anything to risk our life together."

"I know, " she said with a pause trying to convince herself that she believed her own words, "I trust you." They lay together for what felt like hours, breathing in each other's presence as if it were sustenance. Tali's breathing slowed into a rhythmic pattern and he began to wonder if she was still awake.

"Are you feeling better now?" he hummed, hoping not to wake her if she had fallen back into a slumber.

"I always feel better wrapped in your arms. And I love it when you call me that."

"_Ri vaelah?_ I say it because it's true. You are my _ri vaelah_."

Tali rolled herself over in his arms to face him, pressing her chest against his and working a leg in between his. "Shala is right: you're turning into a quarian."

"I told you I care deeply for the quarian people." He nudged his forehead against her temple, eliciting a giggle from her, "and one quarian in particular." She rewarded him with a quick kiss.

"I've been trying to catch up to you with human culture, but-"

"But there are dozens of different human cultures. That's what I like about quarian culture. Even after your people were exiled, you stuck together. You recognized the importance of each other's well being for survival. You're all family."

"John, I...didn't mean to stir up anything...unpleasant." He had talked to her about his childhood on Mindoir before. The small farming community he grew up on was very tight knit. A place where everyone knew about everyone else's business. Right up until the day the slavers came.

"It's alright. I lost my family on that colony, but...you gave me a new one. You are my family now, _ri vaelah_. And that's why I need to do this. You're right. It's not just about survival anymore." She caressed his cheek with her palm and gave his face a slight squeeze. " There is something I need to confess to you...I heard your conversation with Shala yesterday."

Her chest tightened and her cheeks flushed a deeper purple. "You did?" she asked cautiously.

"I want that, too," he said with a toothy grin.

* * *

_ri vaelah _- My guiding star.

* * *

_Author's Notes_

Yes, I am working towards a Shepard-Zorah child. I promise there will be no miraculous pregnancies for Tali and no human-quarian hybrids. I already have an idea about how it will be done. I'm working on fleshing out the story with the galaxy at large.

Ideas, suggestions, and criticisms are always welcome (I love to hear your ideas). I'm not a very fast writer, but I'm trying to improve without sacrificing quality or detail. I typically dislike writing, but in this case I like the subject matter and BioWare has left a fairly good foundation for me to build off of.


	3. Catching Up

It had been nearly two hours since Shepard fell back into a deep slumber and there were still two hours until Tikkun would creep over the nearby hill to flood their bedroom with light. Tali was curled up against him, her smaller frame fitting snugly in front of his. His arm was still draped across her waist, weakly holding her in place. She had been stroking his knuckles with her long, slender fingers and feeling his powerful heart beat against her back. The warmth of his breath crept along her exposed neck. His oddly straight legs mingled with hers and the top of his feet pressed up against her soles. It was rare for her to be awake in bed with him while he slept.

_Keelah, I need to appreciate just how _warm_ he is. My human bondmate. _Her mouth curled into a smile.

She tried returning to sleep, but between her nightmare and his revelation she was simply too alert to drift off. Their conversation kept running through her mind.

* * *

"I want that, too"

"I didn't mean to burden you with that," she said cocking her head slightly in a show of sincerity.

He leaned his head forward to nuzzle against her cheek. "How many times do I have to tell you that you'll never be a burden on me."

She pushed on his chest and pulled her head back to look clearly into his eyes. "That's not what I meant. I know you love me and I love you, John. It's just that it's...not that important right now. Shala was right: we have time and we have each other." She leaned in to plant her lips on his. " We don't have to rush this and I don't want you worrying about some impossible wish."

"We've done the impossible before."

"You know this is different."

"Doesn't mean we can't try," he said, voice filled with lust, while pulling her closer.

* * *

She brushed her lips over his and slipped out of his grasp to sit up and throw her legs off the side of the bed. The orange glow of the holo-clock let her see the carefully folded robe laying at the food of the bed. She turned to go to the bathroom, but paused to examine the sleeping human laying in her bed. His eyes were moving rapidly underneath his eyelids; he was dreaming. _I hope it's a pleasant dream involving me._ She made a mental note to listen to any signs of distress from him. His nightmares were slowly becoming a thing of the past, but they were still frequent and intense enough to leave him tired most days.

She made her way to the bathroom to clean herself up. _'Doesn't mean we can't try.' _ she laughed to herself. _No, I guess it doesn't_. Once she finished, she retrieved a pair of his boxers, tied her robe closed, and threw her long hair behind her shoulders. Before she crept downstairs to find a snack and her datapad she returned to the bedside to run a finger across his forehead and bring the sheets up to his shoulder.

The storage compartments of the kitchen held a varied assortment of different foods, organized and clearly labeled as either dextro or levo so as to avoid any unfortunate mishaps. The levo side consisted almost entirely of dry or preserved foods: whatever could be easily transported to Rannoch from the nearest human or asari colonies.

Tali's side, on the other hand, contained plentiful amounts of freshly-grown crops. Shepard had looked forward to spoiling her with a new dish every day; a stark contrast from a lifetime of tasteless nutrient paste. He was disappointed to find he would have to wait a while before he could get a consistent source of fresh dextro-friendly meat for her. Fortunately for Tali, their houseguest had brought a small supply of turian sweets. She was still rummaging through them when a flanging voice echoed throughout the room.

"I figured you'd be exhausted after everything I heard going on upstairs."

She jumped at the sound of his voice, hitting her head against the cabinet and letting out a yelp of pain. "I thought we were quiet enough," she grumbled, massaging the painful part of her scalp. "And what are you doing up?"

"Turian sleep cycles. I had always just adjusted aboard the Normandy. Mix that with predator-evolved hearing and I was treated to some very interesting, some would say primal, noises coming from your bedroom."

"Well you're in my house and I have a naked John Shepard sleeping next to me. You can cope."

Garrus was visibly surprised by her unusual lack of bashfulness. "Shepard sleeps naked? That could be useful information."

"Oh no," she said moving forward to jab a finger at his chest. "I better not see anything about us in Fornax or those creepy celebrity extranet sites."

He jumped on the opening she gave him for a different route to push her buttons. "Why Tali, I had no idea you read Fornax." His mandibles pulled into a tight smirk when her cheeks flushed a darker shade of purple.

"Ok, you win. I _am_ a bit embarrassed you heard us. Now drop it, alright?"

"Heh, I'm sorry, Tali. Just can't resist teasing you." He walked over to grab a package of the snacks he'd brought. "That's a nice...outfit...you're wearing."

She adjusted her robe to provide more cover for herself. "I didn't think you'd be up so I just threw something on."

"I see. So what has you up at this hour of the night? Shepard waking you up with nightmares?"

"How do you know about that?"

He let out a deep sigh. "Not long after he picked me up from Menae, he asked me how I don't keel over from exhaustion. How turians manage to find rest during war. I told him we tend to expect the worst to happen so time spent dreaming about it is a waste of good sleep. I'm not sure it did much to help him."

"It was worse for a while after we recovered him from the Citadel. He seems to be doing a little better every month now, so I think his mind is healing."

"I'm glad he has you, Tali."

"Keelah, Garrus, how did we ever come out of all that?" She pulled her hands up to her chest and begin wringing them together, trying hard not to imagine the pain of losing Shepard. "It's nothing short of a miracle that I have him safe here on Rannoch." She was suddenly brought back to her nightmare. "He saved us all and the galaxy still demands more from him. No, this time...this time it was my nightmare."

"You're worried something will happen?"

"I was standing in here with my aunt when he came back from his call from Admiral Hackett. I didn't really think much of it, except "how will this affect our bonding ceremony?" She propped an elbow up by her wrist and pinched the bridge of her nose. It was something she'd seen Shepard do many times as he collected his thoughts. Now able to touch her own face at her leisure, she employed several of his mannerisms as her own. This one she found very soothing for a troubled mind. "I guess John isn't the only one with lingering issues."

"It's completely understandable for you to be worried about him, Tali, but come on...this is Shepard we're talking about. The man has fought off death itself to come back to you."

Tali smiled at the kindness of his words. "I know how all this sounds. 'We survived the Reapers; what could possibly happen now?'" She focused to stifle the sickening feeling that accompanied those imagined feelings of loss. "I've just..I want...I have to make sure..." The words spilling from her mouth couldn't seem to properly articulate her thoughts. She paused for a moment to collect herself. "I haven't ever had so much go right for me. On the flotilla we were all expected to put the welfare of the ship, of our crewmates, before everything else. It's the only reason we survived our exile. Selfishness was such a foreign concept for me." She looked upstairs to where her sleeping mate lay. "I don't feel guilty about wanting him for myself anymore. Or for wanting this house, for wanting to ignore the galaxy...for wanting children with him."

"It's a little intoxicating for you isn't it? Carrying out your duties is a fact of life for most turians, but it was never frowned upon to take a little for yourself." He reached over to give her a firm squeeze on the shoulder. "I don't blame you in the least for taking what you can get. Hell, we all deserve more than most for what we endured."

"I feel better after talking to Shepard and venting to you." Tali hugged her longtime friend and kissed him on the mandible. "Thank you, our _kylen'tor."_

"I think my translator is breaking again...I didn't quite catch that."

Tali stepped back and smiled at him. "No, your translator is fine, it just isn't equipped with software for Old Khelish." Tali guided him into the living area to sit. "Shepard has been learning to speak Khelish and he likes finding these old words. _Kylen'tor_ is a word originating from ancient quarian civilization when we first began to transition from tight clan-based settlements into more diverse nations. Clans began to intermingle more with clans they had never really encountered before. A _kylen'tor_ is a someone from outside the clan that became a very trusted friend, even more so than one's own kin."

"We have been through everything together haven't we? You, me, and Shepard. What did he call us on the original Normandy? Team Dextro?" His mandibles pulled into a turian grin.

"Hah, yeah. Those certainly were different times. Liara wasn't flaying people with her mind."

"The word Reaper didn't really mean anything to us."

"Shepard was with Ashley," Tali said with a sigh.

"You know, even back then...I could tell he cared about you. He spent more time in engineering than he ever did in the cargo hold with Ash. I think what they had was more about...stress relief."

Tali beamed at his suggestion. Her relationship with Ash had changed after the war, but Tali still felt somewhat uncomfortable that her friend had once been intimate with her mate. "Speaking of stress relief...did Mordin ever give you a sex talk before we went through the Omega-4 relay?"

Garrus tilted his head back in surprise. "Yeah, he did." The turian's subharmonics rumbled in his laughter. "He was worried I was attracted to him because of his light skin tone."

"I heard you are more partial to flexibility."

"Shepard told you about that one, huh?" His talons rose up to rub the back of his neck. "And here I thought EDI had the big mouth on the Normandy."

"So Garrus...I hear from Liara that you two are getting pretty serious."

"Do _all_ our friends talk about me when I'm not around?" Garrus leaned back into his spot on the couch and looked around the room. Some of Shepard's models were displayed in cases on the table next to pictures of Tali, Shepard, and various crew members if both the SR-1 and SR-2. A powered-down terminal rested on a desk cluttered with disassembled tech: obviously Tali's workstation. "I think I've finally convinced her to take a backseat on being the Broker. She's so worn out all the time and, from what little I can gather, the network may never be back to what it once was. I actually believe she's looking forward to turning over most of the monitoring and organization to Lawson."

"I'm really happy to hear that. Any idea on where you two are going to settle down?"

"Thessia most likely. Palaven isn't the easiest place for a non-turian to live and I don't want to live on Illium. Too close to Omega for my taste."

"Will that make it hard to continue your work for the Hierarchy?"

"Tali, I think I'm ready pull a Shepard and go hide on my woman's world. Learn what it means to relax and live off the credits from the vids." Garrus paused for a moment before recalling something Tali had mentioned. "So...kids, huh?"

Tali suddenly found herself caught off guard at the question. "I think so...I mean...yes, eventually." Tali ran Garrus through her conversation with Shepard. "With the people's transition from the flotilla to the planet and the house and geth and getting out of my suit...we just hadn't talked about it since Earth."

"I don't know what to tell you, Tali. I'm not really good at these things; I figured Liara would sort of take charge of things for us."

Tali rolled her eyes and sighed, "Males."

"In any case, it sounds just like Shepard to just automatically accept a fight against biology."

"It was just a silly wish. We'll most likely adopt, but for now, between Rannoch's affairs and those _bosh'tets_ on the council, we have work ahead of us still."

"You know, Tali, I might have to start calling him John because Shepard is going to be your name as well and I'm going to tell you something I told him during the war: there's no Shepard without Vakarian. I'll just have to convince Liara to come with us."

* * *

**A/N: **Next chapter I'll try to pick up the pace and have them actually leave the house. As always, criticism and ideas are welcome.

I had trouble deciding on who I wanted to pair Garrus with. I toyed with the idea of reuniting him with his flexibility partner, but I thought that he and Liara would make for an interesting match.


End file.
